What ever happend to Galoob?

Its not every day that I concern myself with a toy company that ceased to exist some time ago. But really what happend to them?

It doesn't seem like that long ago that I would walk the halls the cat litter smelling halls of my elementary school and come across someone who was bragging about his vast collection of micro machines. Ahhh, micro machines they were special toys. Galoobs powerhouse of sales! See they were just like toy cars except smaller (kinda like my penis) about only 1.5 inches to be exact. These would rival the size of a large eraser and were perfect for the small child that enjoyed putting toys in his mouth at the ripe age of 8 years old. Its just a shame these toys didn't kill off enough of these idiots as they have seemingly ALL grown up and can be seen being extra enthusiastic at all local Subway sandwhich restaurants. These kids in their prime youth would be bragging that they scored a mini version of a Dodge Charger or a minature monster truck (which kind of defeats the purpose) when their mom decided to take them to K-mart that week.Its saddens me that they still sell these shitty toys. Who could forget the commercials too? That speed talking freak with the molestache John Moschitta.


He was everywhere in the 80s but has been banished to Northern Canada ever since the decade flipped to 90. Well ok Im sure he still gets work on some shitty cartoon somewhere, but who cares. The only part of those commercials anyone could remember him saying was "If it doesn't say Micro Machines its not the real thing". Apparently the toy world must have been infested with Micro Machine frauds. How could they rip off such an authentic and origional concept?.. Toy cars that are uhh smaller..

Another piece of Galoob genius was the Pound Puppies. Seriously it was a fucking stuffed dog nothing more, nothing less. For some reason every girl(as some femine boys) I knew, owned one of these. I guess they were just so lovable and huggable as the commercial told us, fucking fags. That wasn't the only thing about these shitty toys too. I guess the one thing these toys had was that dogs were laying flat on the ground, like when dogs are sleeping or sad and whats better to play with than a sad or sleeping dog? They were so popular that they even made a saturday morning cartoon for them that was watched by handicapped children all over this great country. One of the dogs on that cartoon laughed like Eddie Murphy too, wtf! Eddie Murphy said motherfucker in the 80s more than any other human, and they were marketing his laugh to children? Brilliant. I guess in the 80s nothing was cooler than his laugh (wow, we were dumb then). We can all be thankful that the trend of these shitty things died and Galoob put all of there Pound Puppies to sleep forever. I mean seriously, It was a stuffed dog!

Then of course perhaps the raddest of all Galoob toys was the Game Genie. The Genie was something you could put pop into your video game console with a game plugged into it. Then you punch in a code and magically you could have 100 lives in the game or constantly fly or well you get the idea. It was a way to cheat at video games. This was by far their best idea because teaching children to cheat is such a valuable lesson. I will say that some of those old NES games were so damned impossible that this was perhaps a godsend to some. However, I have never used one of these because I had video game intergrity and thought "If you can't beat it the right way, you should just keep wasting 1000 hours to try." Nintendo apparently didn't like the idea of some shitty toy company fucking with their Rom codes of their cartridges and served up a heavy lawsuit, while Sega fully endorsed the product (cuz cheating is edgy). The sales for the Genie stopped in the U.S. because of the legal limbo. Eventually, Galoob won the lawsuit and kids everywhere were happy they could once again cheat. The Genie ceased to exist after time but that didn't stop a company called the Game Shark from stealing the idea and keeping kids from being dishonest with their video games.

So I guess Galoob got bought out by Hasbro... Thats the equivilent of a dog awarded best in show eating out of the cat litter box. I don't really miss Galoob at all but after all those years of hearing their crappy toys be advertised in equally shit commercials I had to reflect and wonder if for only moment.

Things that happend this week

A tornado with 130mph winds hit Atlanta, GA last night. What is it about a city in despair that I love so much? Perhaps this God's way of punnishing the city. Come to think about it what has that city really given to society?


-An assload of bad music mostly shitty rap artists: Lil Scrappy, Ludacris, Jermaine Dupri, Souljah Boy, T.I., Crime Mob, Ying Yang Twins, Lil Bow wow, Indigo Girls, Collective Soul, Jackyl and The Black Crows. Theres one thing that all these artists have in common BESIDES being from Atlanta. Its the fact that all their albums can be purchased for 99 cents a piece. I feel bad for Sevendust and Outkast since they are also from this crime infested city located in the middle of the most redneck state in the entire U.S.

-The Atlanta Braves: A team that boringly won their division in baseball for like 15 fucking years in a row and would always blow it. They only won the World Series ONCE during that entire run. It got so pathetic during those years and boring for even the local fanbase that they didn't even sell out the home playoff games. WOW! What a great group of baseball fans there are out in Atlanta. Good job choking year in and year out!


-Waffle House: The worst fast food company in existence has it main headquarters in Norcross which is a gang infested suburb of the hole known as Atlanta. Too bad the tornado hasn't made a trip over to Norcross to ruin this building. I mean Waffle House is great if your drunk at 4 am and want to eat a plate full of turds covered in sausage gravy. If you think that roaches enhance the atmosphere of the dining expirience then this place is for you. Every single sign has at least three burned out letters. One thing that Georgia has WAY too many of its the golden block dive of wafl ous. Along I-75 from Michigan to Florida there is more Waffle Houses than Mcdonalds' which makes sense because ya know Waffle house is such a great American institution. Atlanta is also home to Arby's the worlds most blandest roast beef ever, GO ATL!!

-World Championship Wrestling: Ted Turner did bring some decent tv channels and programs (excluding Captain Planet and the planeteers). The ultimate pile of pro wrestling entertainment. Sure the talent was good but the shows were awful! When a prowrestling fan looks at something as says "wow thats stupid" it has to be pretty bad. Too bad the tornado didnt get a chance to destroy this company as it was so bad that it went bankrupt.



I don't wish the city any ill will but I certainly wouldn't miss it if a tornado were to take the whole fucking thing completely out.



This fucked up video from Argentina that claims to have caught a real life gnome side stepping his way across the street. This has probably been on youtube for a while but I just found it.




The gnome or whatever you want to call it, begins to appear :35 seconds in. WTF!? People believe in gnomes? I'm betting this is just a midget or child wearing a pointy hat and walking with a limp. Whats next? Someone catches video of a fucking unicorn?


Jeff Hardy is very thankful for his most recent main event level push in professional wrestling. He was breaking through to the top of the business with some of the most death defying leaps to capture the audiences imagination... He was so thankful for his recent push that he tested positive for a banned substance that the WWE noted was a recreational drug. He musta been celebrating that push with too much blow. So he got suspended for 60 days and probably will be losing matches to guys who help set up the ring when he comes back. As if that was enough then... his house burned down completely killing his dog and all his belongings with it. This just proves that if you do drugs, you will have troubles at work and your house will burn down, killing your dog in the process. So don't do drugs and stay in school cuz users are losers!



The New York governor Elliot Spitzer got busted for a fucking a call girl. Then was forced to step down from office for a blind man. Did you see that chick though? Seriously it wasnt like he paid for one of those toothless crack addicted bitches you can find crawling all over Michigan Ave. in Detroit. Though that woulda been much funnier had that been the case. The best part of all of this is the hot chick (Ashley Dupre) who he paid to fuck actually got her 15 minutes of fame as her aspiring singing career seems to be getting some notice because of all these facial shots shes getting on tv.







Tell me you wouldn't pay for that? Seriously why can't politicians just get laid whenever they want? Since when is consensual fucking a crime?

Steve O of Jackass and Wildboys fame got arrested for coke, then gets out of jail and does more drugs followed by this sweet ass video!

After this retarded display of Anna Nicole Smithness some friends of his (Jackass crew guys) recieved some suicidal email type shit from him. Then they came to his aide and got him nice and checked into a mental hostpital. The one person on earth who made a profession out of being crazy has hit rock bottom because of drug abuse and is actually crazy. That might be his best stunt yet. I wonder if he wears that cheetah thong in the looney bin?

Brandon Inge continued to grab his crotch!

Todays random thoughts

Life is not what you expect it to be

I would like to point out that Breaking Bad is the best drama on tv since the Shield. Whats better than a cancer infected high school chemistry teacher who decides to cook crystal meth to pay for treatment?


Linsday Lohan is blaming all HIS troubles on work related stress. I know how he feels because doing what you love for a living definetly takes a toll. It must be so hard to be a young millionare... Im sure it was difficult and the blow/booze/GHB/huffing paint/collecting stds like baseball cards definetly takes the edge off.
A true sign of immaturatity is blaming other things for your own problemes. I bet his vag has freckles and by freckles I mean open sores.




I was actually surprised with Semi Pro on how good it was... I was expecting Will Ferrell to fumble this one but it was better than Talledegah Nights and Blades of Glory. Actually with how disappointed I was with Be Kind Rewind (Total crap salad sandwhich) and Stange Wilderness (merely ehhh), I figured this would be crap too. Next up in the promising comedy department is Mike Myer's The Love Guru looks like typical Myers comedy and should be more solid than my hangover shits.







Those freecreditreport.com commercials were cute for about a minute but now I can't get lines like "Instead of living in a pleasant suburb were living in the basement of her mom and dad's" out of my fucking head.
Enough we get it! The fucked thing is freecreditreport.com is NOT free.


While Im on the topic of commercials, the magical amount jingle with the animated characters that are supposedly anti smoking make me want to have a cigarette every single time I see them. Thanks Truth, it reminds me of just how great it is to inhale poison at least once an hour.

Spring Training games are finally here. No more jerking off to the idea of Miguel Cabrara and Dontrelle Willis playing for the Tigers. Brandon Inge can grab his crotch and cry all he wants about not wanting to catch but hes not going anywhere with that contract. Have fun being the worlds most expensive bench player with a queer soul patch. Now I acutally have images and box scores. My dick just got hard and I wont be missing any of the 162.






Wrestlemania is coming up too... Thank God because I think everyone is ready to FINALLY (10 years too late) see Ric Flair and his tapiaoca pudding eating ass, finally retire!
The fucker should be doing gimmick matches right now but they are pushing him in a "If you lose you retire" match. Fucker is 60 goddamned years old and beating guys because its "good for business" in the WWE. What the fuck is with the "WOOOOO" anyway? He never "WOOO"ed me when he climb to the top ropes and get thrown off every single time. Bankrupt fucker!












I just heard Nancy Grace say "How much do you have to drink to still stink like it the next morning?" Well Miss Grace, I understand your objective to find someone whose a story or perhaps a "trainwreck" but there are a lot of people who will fit this bill. Just because someone drinks for 8 plus hours doesnt mean they are less than yourself Ms. Disgrace. You are a very judgemental FELLA! You are the ultimate loser of society you feed on other peoples mistfortune. Most drunks dont stoop that low (sure some do but you're no better)! You exploit the lowest forms of people and talk about how you would have done it, because you of all people know whats best for everyone. SAVE US ALL QUEEN CUNT! I feel sorry for any guy that would actually consider putting his dick in you... You are borderline racist! You really just make yourself look like a cunt. Me personally I wanna blow a load on your face Nancy just to degrade you... I wish it was you in the 2girls1cupvideo. Then finally you getting your own show would make sense.