Snowmobiling - Yes!! Its 15 degrees outside and snow is everywhere.. What a perfect time to do something OUTDOORS! Lets dig out that 20,000 dollar piece of equipment that you can only use for 3 months
out of the year. I can see how they are a wise investment though because nothing is better than paying so much for something that just sits there. But for those 3 months you can rip through the snow on your Polaris or Artic Cat and piss off people who are traveling with actual cars by just being in the way. WHAT FUN!! Plus you get the perks of carrying all that snow gear, the suit, the helmet, those gigantic boots.. The biggest perk of all though is that you get to constantly smell of exhaust. I know how much establishments enjoy it when people walk in with all this baggage and stench of carbon dioxide. Honestly I hope everyone who drives one of these things runs into a barbed wire fence at full speed. Heres an idea ya like driving them on ice, right? Well maybe you could do the world a favor and drive you and your overpriced, lame hobby into the thawed mouth of a river. You people are pure trash!Hunting -
The test of a real man! To be the provider you have to be able to go out and kill something. Plus you get to wear all that sweet ass orange and camoflage apparell. It might be cold outside but thats just the perfect time to be bored in the woods looking for an animal. Hunting camp is also fun, because hangovers and guns are such a good combination. Seriously though, haven't we evolved enough to the point where we don't have to play caveman and hunt for our food. Theres a reason we raise certain animals for food. Theres a reason we have grocery stores. Yes, they even raise deer for their meat in a controlled environment. Whats not to like about being a hunter? Being in the woods alone in the cold, sprinkling animal piss, being a general dickhead and playing with a gun. Did I mention that hunters are pieces of shit? Cuz they are.Gardening -
Usually a hobby that is reserved for those people that contain vaginas in their pants. These people wear ridiculously large and stupid looking hats, wear gloves and enjoy digging in the earth with tools that resemble murder weapons. Then onces their always productive garden produces they want to share their "world famously large tomatoes" with every fucking person they come into contact with. Sure if you want to waste your time playing in the dirt only to give away the produce thats fine by me. I just think its much easier and less time consuming to ya know go to a farmers market or a damn grocery store for that shit. I mean if you want to grow produce become a fucking farmer yourself.Horseback riding -
Really what are ya getting outta that? Oh boy Im on my horsey YAY!! Look at me daddy I'm a cowboy!! Nothing like dealing with a stubborn animal as a mode of transportation. Its pointless and a waste of money. I have to say I could careless about animals except as food, so maybe you think you've got some connection with your overpriced animal but guess what, ITS A FUCKING ANIMAL they don't know shit about shit. You can't communicate with them and you're not in the old west. If you wear a fucking cowboy hat too, you need to grow up. Its time to stop playing cowboys and indians.Skiing -
Another pointless overpriced outdoor hobby that entails carrying bulky gear and playing in the snow. News flash you're not gonna be the next Picabo Street and chances are you and your giants sticks strapped to your feet are gonna end up with a broken leg. We can only hope that happens and you realize that its a stupid hobby. Oh but its so fun because of the adrenaline rush yeah but so is crystal meth so what does that tell ya?
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